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Sports Fic: Yellow Card

Title: Yellow Card
Author: Namaste
Summary: House and Wilson try to make a bet on the World Cup. Friendship, fluff. Rated PG. 975 words.
Author's Note: One in a series of stories I've done on House and Wilson hanging out and betting about sports. I have no idea if the characters would actually do this, but I like to think they would.
Sample: House leaned forward and looked into Wilson's eyes. "It's because of that damn octopus."





"Let me get this straight." Cuddy folded her arms over her chest and took a deep breath. "You called me out of a meeting..."

"Yes."

"...to come up here ..."

"Yes."

"... and flip a coin."

House nodded. "Yes."

Wilson at least looked a little embarrassed. House just leaned back in his chair with a satisfied grin on his face.

Cuddy turned and headed for the door.

"Oh, come on," House said. "You're here already. Might as well flip the coin."

She paused, one hand on the door. "Does this coin flip have anything to do with a patient?"

"No."

"Personnel?"

"No."

"Soccer." Wilson glanced up at Cuddy, then went back to staring at the floor. "The World Cup."

"You want me to flip a coin just to settle a bet."

"No, not to settle a bet. To decide who gets first pick of whether to bet on Spain or the Netherlands," House said. "The actual bet comes later."

Cuddy pushed the door open.

"You should be flattered," House called after her. "You're the one person we both said we'd trust."

Cuddy didn't slow down. She didn't even wait for the elevator. Wilson watched her march straight for the stairs. "OK, now what?" he asked.

"Now, you let me flip a coin, like I should have done in the first place."
"I let you flip a coin," Wilson said, "and you'll do some magic trick to make it come up heads every time." He held out his hand. "Let me do it."

"You may fool your patients with that innocent face, but not me."

"I think this is where we started, before you decided to call Cuddy."

"No, where we started is when you wouldn't just let me name my team."

Wilson heard something thump against the floor in the conference room, and looked over to see a large rolling trash bin just inside the room, being pushed by an overweight man in a drab blue uniform.

Wilson looked at House and raised his eyebrows. House nodded.

"Hey Blue!"

"Lou," Wilson said. 

"Whatever," House said. "Get in here!"

Lou stood at the open door. "You want me to come back later, Dr. House?"

"No," House said. "I want to know if you have a quarter."

Wilson recognized the look that flashed across Lou's face -- the one that said House had hit him up for change at the vending machine at least once. Wilson told himself he should find an excuse to buy Lou some coffee sometime to try and make up for it.

Lou fished one out of his pocket, and held it tight between his fingers. "It's all I've got," he said.

"It's all you need. Flip it."

"What?"

"Flip it," House said. "Up in the air. You do know how to -- "

"It's to settle a bet," Wilson interrupted. "If you wouldn't mind."

Lou shrugged, then settled the coin on his thumb, and flipped it high into the air. Wilson watched it rotate end over end before Lou caught it, then covered it with his palm. He peeked beneath it. "Tails," he said.

"Woo Hoo!" Wilson shouted. "I win."

"You won a coin toss," House pointed out. "Not the bet."

Lou stared at them a moment later, then backed out into the conference room again. He emptied the trash and wiped down the table, but kept glancing into House's office.

"So," House took five twenty dollar bills out of his wallet and put them on his desk. "a hundred bucks on ..."

"Let's see, I could pick Spain," Wilson said. "They've got one of the best goalkeepers in the sport." He took out his own bills and placed them on top of House's, but kept his attention on House's face, looking for the one momentary change in expression that would let him know what House was thinking.

House just stared. He didn't even blink.

"Of course the Dutch have Sneijder," Wilson said. "Five goals for the series so far, and he isn't slowing down."

Nothing.

"Of course Villa has five goals for Spain too."

Still nothing.

"And you can't ignore van Marwijk's coaching."

House just looked bored now.

"While del Bosque has shown a flare for adapting the team as needed."

"Let's get this over with," House said. "I know you're picking Spain and it doesn't have anything to do with coaching or goal keeping or who's scored the most goals so far." He leaned forward and looked into Wilson's eyes. "It's because of that damn octopus."

"This has nothing to do with the octopus."

"Twenty minutes ago, just before you came storming in here saying that you're finally ready to put some money down, you used your assistant's computer to look up the latest prediction."

"You're checking out my assistant's computer?" Wilson shook his head, but didn't actually deny checking a website or two. "Besides, I was just curious."

"Superstition isn't a good way to make a bet."

"You once made a bet on how many people would walk under a ladder."

"That was betting on how stupid people are," House said. "You can never go wrong by betting that people are idiots."

They stared at each other over the stash of cash for a few seconds. Wilson knew he had a patient coming in soon, and he needed to make a decision.

"You wanted to make a choice," House said, "so choose."

Wilson glanced at the clock, then back at House. "Fine," he said. "Spain -- but that has nothing to do with the octopus. That was just a coincidence."

House grinned, and Wilson finally saw the tell he'd been watching for. House had wanted the Netherlands all along. Wilson wasn't sure now if House had somehow tricked him into picking Spain.

"Just remember," House said, "you were the one who picked them." He leaned forward. "But you should have gone with the parakeet."

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Comments

( 39 comments — Leave a comment )
moose_mcmoose
Jul. 10th, 2010 10:30 pm (UTC)
I loved this. Their refusal to trust either other to flip the coin properly, dragging Cuddy in, dragging poor old Lou into it, the subtle manipulation in order to get the right team.

Marvellous! XD

(And.....You mentioned Paul the Octopus. <3 YESSS..)
namasteyoga
Jul. 10th, 2010 11:55 pm (UTC)
Once I started hearing about Paul, I knew I had to find some way to bring him in. Thanks.
mer_duff
Jul. 10th, 2010 11:28 pm (UTC)
Oh Wilson - didn't you learn anything from Euro 2008? On the other hand, I now feel a little badly about rooting against Wilson's team :)

I love these stories!
namasteyoga
Jul. 10th, 2010 11:56 pm (UTC)
Team Parakeet! Though the Vegas odds are in Wilson's favor too, so who knows?
slightlysatanic
Jul. 10th, 2010 11:38 pm (UTC)
paul. the. octopus.

you might be my hero for bringing up pulpo paul :D
namasteyoga
Jul. 10th, 2010 11:57 pm (UTC)
While Wilson will deny it, I'm sure Paul the octopus tipped the scales in Spain's favor. Hee.
taiga13
Jul. 11th, 2010 12:12 am (UTC)
(giggles) I've been highly entertained by the Paul the octopus stories this past week and I'm not even a sports fan. Bravo!
namasteyoga
Jul. 11th, 2010 12:16 am (UTC)
I just read a headline that said: "Genius octopus is right again."

Dude, it's an invertebrate sea creature that has a 50-50 chance of "winning" every time. The word "genius" should be nowhere near any story on it.

taiga13
Jul. 11th, 2010 12:44 am (UTC)
I think the real morale of the story is that modern man has way too much time on his hands.
namasteyoga
Jul. 11th, 2010 02:24 am (UTC)
Paul the Octopus -- from the same Internet meme makers that brought you 2012, and You Might Be Gullible If ...
taiga13
Jul. 11th, 2010 04:07 pm (UTC)
I just voted on the Globe and Mail poll and out of over 800 votes, 52% think the Netherlands will win. That's who I voted for too, and no I wasn't influenced by you/House. Like the octopus, I have a 50/50 chance of being right.
My statistics professor told us that a student of his developed a computer model to predict who would win the Stanley Cup based on the hockey teams' performances in the regular season. He said the model was theoretically perfect but failed dismally. Turns out that how teams perform in the regular season has nothing to do with how they perform in the playoffs.
cuddyclothes
Jul. 11th, 2010 12:23 am (UTC)
I loved this. Especially that you worked in Lou, not to mention Paul! It had just the right laconic tone.
namasteyoga
Jul. 11th, 2010 02:22 am (UTC)
Thanks. Paul, Lou and World Cup all at once.
barefootpuddles
Jul. 11th, 2010 12:25 am (UTC)
You wrote them all perfectly, even Cuddy. Very cute piece. :)
namasteyoga
Jul. 11th, 2010 02:22 am (UTC)
Thanks. Cuddy often shows up in these sports fics, for some reason.
angelcat2865
Jul. 11th, 2010 12:31 am (UTC)
Great job!

Is it wrong to want to Spain to lose just to prove the octopus wrong?
namasteyoga
Jul. 11th, 2010 02:23 am (UTC)
If it's wrong, I don't want to be right.
sara_tsuzuki
Jul. 11th, 2010 02:37 am (UTC)
LOOOOOOOOOOL The octopus and the parakeet XD Spain for the win! Even Wilson supports Spain! YAY
namasteyoga
Jul. 11th, 2010 12:18 pm (UTC)
Either Wilson supports Spain or House wants Wilson to think he supports Spain. Thanks.
_slytherin_girl
Jul. 11th, 2010 04:32 am (UTC)
That damned octopus! The scariest part is it's been right, at least all the times I saw it on the news.

Very amusing, thanks for sharing. :D
namasteyoga
Jul. 11th, 2010 12:19 pm (UTC)
That octopus is a force of Internet oddities I think. I'm glad you liked it.
3rdgal12
Jul. 11th, 2010 04:54 am (UTC)
LOL! I can totally see them doing this!

Thanks for sharing!
namasteyoga
Jul. 11th, 2010 12:20 pm (UTC)
You're welcome! Thanks.
rividori
Jul. 11th, 2010 08:05 am (UTC)
Hahaha this is great! You could write a sequel based on the final outcome. XD
namasteyoga
Jul. 11th, 2010 12:20 pm (UTC)
I don't think I'll have time to write a sequel, but we'll see. Thanks.
hibernia1
Jul. 11th, 2010 08:19 am (UTC)
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH w00t w00t SO MUCH LOVE FOR THIS and memm'ing! Of course House would want to root for the Dutch, what with his Dutch Oma and all that!

AND HE WILL WIN THIS BET!!!!!
namasteyoga
Jul. 11th, 2010 12:21 pm (UTC)
I thought about bringing up his Oma, but it was more fun to torture Wilson with the octopus.
lady_dizzy
Jul. 11th, 2010 08:38 am (UTC)
I love this! House, Wilson, football and Paul, that's just too good. =) And Wilson would totally believe, what a psychic octopus says, lol.
namasteyoga
Jul. 11th, 2010 12:22 pm (UTC)
Thanks. Paul the octopus was just too much fun to ignore.
jonne17
Jul. 11th, 2010 08:54 am (UTC)
House is always right, right? Nice and strange to see those names who are constantly used in our house connected with House.
Thank you for this, I hope that stupid animal is as wrong as the last time he predicted a final
namasteyoga
Jul. 11th, 2010 12:22 pm (UTC)
There's a 50-50 chance he'll be wrong, right?
doctorpancakes
Jul. 11th, 2010 05:53 pm (UTC)
Teehee! I didn't even know what teams were PLAYING until I read this. I feel so out of the loop!
namasteyoga
Jul. 11th, 2010 09:32 pm (UTC)
Don't worry. Many of us in the US will once again be out of the loop when it comes to soccer soon.
pwcorgigirl
Jul. 12th, 2010 01:58 am (UTC)
"You can never go wrong by betting that people are idiots." I would love to have a t-shirt made up with that line on it. &hearts

Everyone is wonderful in this, but I especially adore crafty Wilson, who reminds us again how he won that poker tournament in "All In."
namasteyoga
Jul. 12th, 2010 10:48 am (UTC)
I liked the idea of Wilson being not so much clueless, but rather as trying to get one over on House. Thanks.
poeia
Jul. 12th, 2010 02:31 am (UTC)
I was so disappointed that the Indian Ringneck got it wrong. But I wasn't at all disappointed in this. I can just see House using double-reverse psychology to get the pick he wants.

And what do you mean, the octopus isn't a genius. I read that one of it's keepers explained that even when it was little, there was a look in it's eye that made them realize that he was smarter than most octopuses. (Oh, dear. I hope I didn't dislocate my eye, rolling it so hard.)
namasteyoga
Jul. 12th, 2010 10:49 am (UTC)
I wish the Dutch had won, but mostly -- I wish it had been a decent game. Ye Gods, people, you'll never convert Americans with a scoreless extra time game.
reddeathherself
Jul. 19th, 2010 10:23 am (UTC)
It's so rare to have a game like that though! Watch the English league games - now *that's* good football!! (Though, being English and a spurs fan, i may be slightly biased XD)World cup football is rarely the best these players can play. When they're with their clubs, and the men they train with day after day, then the games are much better to watch.
I don't think anyone expects to convert Americans from American football though. Someone needs to watch it after all :P lol
pinigir
Jul. 13th, 2010 02:20 am (UTC)
Great fic! Loved reading it. Too bad got it wrong in the end. It seems the octopus was right again.
( 39 comments — Leave a comment )